That moment of pride when your child walks across the stage, accepts their high school diploma and flips the tassel atop their graduation cap is one of incredible excitement and anticipation. So how will your family celebrate this significant milestone? As your child stands on the brink of young adulthood and the start of their college journey, this pivotal moment offers a chance to create a meaningful send-off ritual that honors their achievements and prepares them for both the opportunities and challenges ahead.

Research by psychologists and anthropologists has shown that people have been leveraging the power of “ritual” since the dawn of time. Rituals can celebrate achievements and milestones, but they also bring communities together in the face of change and unknowns. For example, ancient Polynesian island cultures performed rituals before sending voyagers out to sea. They lauded their strength and courage while collectively praying for the voyagers as they embarked toward the vast unknown.

Let’s face it – graduations also mark a significant time of transition for parents. Transforming this “moment that matters” into a thoughtful ritual also provides an opportunity for parents to reinforce ties with their new graduate as they get set to leave the nest. It offers a way for parents to buffer feelings of anxiety and stress that can come with “empty nesting.” This is a rare moment to instill values, share wisdom and celebrate a significant rite of passage. Inspired by Andrew Doust's insights in "Wealth of Wisdom: Top Practices for Wealthy Families and their Advisors," here are some thoughtful ways to elevate this important milestone.

Engage in a purposeful dialogue

Start by having a deep and intentional conversation about personal purpose and values. This dialogue can help your child grasp the significance of their college education and the journey they are about to undertake:

• Explore the "why": Discuss your core values and how they influenced your own educational journey. Encourage your child to define their own "why" for attending college.
• Share personal growth stories: Reflect on your college experiences, highlighting who influenced you, the skills you gained and the lessons you learned. How did these shape your life?
• Offer practical advice: Provide guidance on managing finances, engaging in acts of service and overcoming challenges. What would you do differently if given another chance at college?
• Discuss family support: Talk about the most meaningful ways your family supported you during your transition into adulthood. What are your aspirations for your child in the coming years?

Frame financial support as a "scholarship"

Consider presenting your financial support for your child's college experience as a "scholarship." This approach emphasizes intentionality and opens a dialogue about the purpose of family wealth:

• Clarify financial contributions: Clearly outline the expenses you will cover, such as tuition, fees, books, room and board, and personal expenses. Just as importantly, be clear about expenses you will not be subsidizing. You might take this opportunity to talk about working while studying, and expectations about how summers should be spent.
• Define scholarship objectives: Reflect on your core values and how you hope your child will use this financial investment to contribute to society.
• Set clear expectations: Discuss what is expected of your child academically and beyond. How can they embody core family values during their college years?
• Establish accountability: Create a system for your child to report back and demonstrate accountability for their educational journey.

Create a memorable send-off ceremony

Design a send-off ceremony that celebrates this milestone and strengthens family bonds:

• Plan a family gathering: Organize a meaningful family event to honor your child's achievements and future endeavors. This could be a dinner, a weekend retreat or a special celebration that holds significance for your family. Offer a heartfelt toast congratulating your child and their journey, and sharing your sincere hopes for their future.
• Select a thoughtful gift: Choose a gift that symbolizes family connections and serves as a reminder of your support and love. This could be a piece of jewelry, a personalized keepsake or a family heirloom.

We can help

By approaching your child's college send-off with intentionality and purpose, you can create a meaningful ritual that not only celebrates this important transition but also lays the foundation for a fulfilling college experience. This is also a meaning-making experience that begins to communicate to the child what it means to be an adult in the family, and how to balance individual and family identities. With repetition through annual check-ins each year of your child’s college tenure and down the line for younger siblings, this ritual can become part of your family’s culture, tradition and lore.

Your J.P. Morgan advisor can offer guidance on how to prep for your child heading off to college, and how to begin the conversation about values, expectations and financial support.